A link to the online version of the article is available here (see link) and an excerpt is provided below.

http://www.bizjournals.com/boston/stories/2008/12/22/focus3.html?b=1229922000^1751012

“Work spouse is a catchy phrase that describes something that’s been happening for a long time,” said Anthony Centore, founder and principal therapist at Thrive Boston Counseling and Psychotherapy in Cambridge. “You spend much more time in the office with co-workers than you do with your actual spouse. So it’s not surprising that these relationships form.”…

Centore points to other psychological benefits, such as feeling understood and cared for, trust and friendship. But there are potential emotional dangers with work spouse relationships that can spill over into the workplace — or even onto the home front.

“It gets dangerous when people begin opening up too much to people at work while simultaneously becoming distant from their real spouse,” Centore said. “Since there’s no family baggage in a work relationship, some folks may fantasize about how this could be an ideal relationship. That’s the dark side of the work spouse phenomenon.”

http://www.bizjournals.com/boston/stories/2008/12/22/focus3.html?b=1229922000^1751012

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Moreover, Parents and Kids, on their website, published Dr. Centore’s article on the Front Page! A permanent link to the article in Parents and Kids Magazine is here: http://www.wickedlocalparents.com/what-no-one-saying-holiday-about-economic-stress-and-kids

The article is also viewable on the Thrive Boston Counseling website, here: http://thriveboston.com/counseling/what-no-one-is-saying-this-holiday-about-economic-stress-and-kids/

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Many of us believe that if a child doesn’t get the item he/she wants for Christmas, then the child will become emotionally damaged. We have Christmas stories dedicated to this idea. 

Toys aren’t bad; they’re great! But a Game Boy is a poor replacement for the relationship between parent and child. For instance, in Jean Shepherd’s novel turned movie, “A Christmas Story”, what Ralphy really wants for Christmas isn’t a BB gun, it is his father’s love. 

As a therapist, I sometimes hear a client say, “We didn’t have much but we had each other.“

That client is always better off than the one who says, “I had everything, except for my parents.” 

This holiday season, give your kids the gift they really want — you! Your children need these seven things from you. They are the seven “True Gifts” of Christmas. 

Time –

Kids spell love T-I-M-E. There is no substitute for every hour, minute, and second of quality time parents spend with their children.

Touch –

A hug and kiss, holding hands, brushing hair, wrestling, high fives, or cuddling on the couch: most child experts agree kids need at least 11 loving touches a day. 

Talk –

Find the interests you and your child share; and open up! Remember, communication is also non-verbal, so be careful about the different ways you “speak” to your child.

Tenderness –

Tenderness is to love unconditionally, and it is providing a “soft hand of correction” even when your child irritates, argues, or disappoints. Every child needs at least one person who loves them intensely, no matter what.

 Teaching –

Whether present or absent, a parent is always teaching something to their child. Your child learned something from you today, I guarantee it.

Tenacity –

Kids’ lives are more erratic, complex, and rapidly changing than any generation in history. Parents, provide stability. Be an anchor and a safe place for your child. The hardest part of parenting is staying persistent.

 Tomorrow –

There is a lot of negative press out there, and your kids hear it! So fill your children’s hearts with hope. Believe in them. Dream with them. Be big on praise. There is no better inheritance—no amount of money, or privilege, or material thing that can compare to a spirit of hope for a happy future.   

Don’t worry about the material things. Try to provide these True Gifts for your children this year and have a joyful holiday, together!

# # #

 This article may be reprinted as long at the content is not changed and this footer is included. Enjoy!

Anthony Centore Ph.D. is founder and principal therapist of Thrive Boston Counseling and Life Coaching (http://www.thriveboston.com) in Cambridge.  He can be reached at 617-395-5806 or thriveboston@gmail.com

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1) Hedonist: Present benefit that causes future detriment.
A hedonist focuses on enjoying the present while ignoring potential negative consequences of his/her actions.

2) Rat Racer: Present sacrifice for future benefit.

Rat racers enslave themselves to the present in pursuit of a better future. They are masters of delaying gratification.

3) Nihilist: Present sacrifice that causes future detriment.

Nihilists have lost their love for life. A Nihilist, according to Tal Ben-Shahar, neither enjoys the moment nor has a sense of future purpose.

4) Happier: Present benefit that causes future benefit.

Happy people live according to the knowledge that activities can bring enjoyment in the present and lead to a fulfilling future. 

The 4 styles can be summarized simply:

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A short excerpt is provided below:

Call it Home for the Holidays 2.0. Whether it’s the newly married couple transplanted across the country, or the emotionally troubled 50-something Boston-area businessman…work schedules are turning to the tools of today to find “family” for the big seasonal gatherings.

Some experts see a nascent trend with growth potential, especially during tough economic times. “The more mobile we get, the more isolated and lonely people are,” says Anthony Centore, a therapist with Thrive Boston, a counseling center in Cambridge, Mass. Many, especially in the younger generation, use the Internet to stay connected to friends – old and new. “But we are made for in-person contact,” says Mr. Centore, “and that’s what people will seek out, particularly at high emotional times such as the holidays.”

http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/1126/p17s01-hfgn.html

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