Mark A. Yarhouse and James N. Sells

Inter Varsity Press, 2008

Written for students, therapists, and pastors, the textbook Family Therapies is designed to provide intelligent content about psychotherapy topics, while not losing readers with less clinical inclinations. The book accomplishes this goal.

Students reading the textbook will receive an ample review of major family therapy models, while counselors will benefit from the more nuanced clinical insights of the authors, such as the “respect commitment,” a concept that can be implemented during times of family stress or crisis. According to the authors: 

The respect commitment is a pledge to not provoke secondary crisis through acts or attitudes that are known to cause additional pain for other family members. For example, a family member might sooth their pain by stopping at a sports bar after work and watching a NASCAR race and drinking a beer, or walking alone in the woods [for two hours] before coming home…Or an adolescent might choose to spend $400 of his or her money saved for college on clothes or stereo equipment—impulsively, without consultation with a parent. The respect commitment says that for the time being each member will respect others by not engaging in behaviors that are within your “individual right” but are also known to be potentially incendiary (p. 320).

Ideas like this one are scattered throughout the text like so many chocolate espresso beans in my trail mix. And like those beans, they have helped me to think sharply about new techniques that could work with current clients, and brainstorm new ways of approaching therapy with future ones.

While a textbook by definition, it is conversational enough to read straight through. Granted, 500 pages will take you a while, so you may want to start with the family therapy models in which you have interest. The text surveys major family therapy models including:

·         Bowenian Family Therapy

·         Strategic Family Therapy

·         Structural Family Therapy

·         Psychodynamic Family Therapy

·         Contextual Family Therapy

·         Experiential Family Therapy

·         Solution-Focused Family Therapy

·         Cognitive-Behavioral Family Therapy

·         Narrative Family Therapy

In the second half of the book, Yarhouse and Sells take a topic-based approach and address a selection of family therapy issues including crisis and trauma, marital conflict, and substance abuse.

Bottom Line

This is not a ground breaking study, a Yalom page-turner, or a self-improvement must-read. But it is an unusually well written textbook. It’s a good choice if you’re a therapist or counseling pastor looking for a serious guide to Christian family therapy.  

Social Bookmark

Thrive Boston Counseling Therapy

CCT magazine is a leading counseling therapy publication. It is subscribed to by nearly 50,000 readers. 

Social Bookmark

Rest assured, this book barely mentions the five love languages—keeping it to a minimum of just two pages in the first chapter, two pages in the back. Done. Finished. Life moves on. Finally.

In Desperate Marriages, Chapman promotes a philosophy he refers to as “Reality Living,” of which there are six rules: (1) I am responsible for my attitude, (2) My attitude affects my actions, (3) I cannot change others, but I can influence others, (4) My emotions do NOT control my actions, (5) Admitting my imperfections does not mean I am a failure, (6) Love is the most powerful weapon for good in the world.

Basic Impressions:

This book is well put together. It is quality material. The reader with real marital problems and needing real information will get real information. For instance, the book speaks about divorce in chapter one—a smart move, for this is certainly on the mind of someone who is in a desperate marriage. Chapman states, “while divorce removes some pressures, it creates a host of others.” Moreover, the book contains some good psychology (which any counselor reader will recognize as being of the CBT persuasion), and Chapman aptly references William Glasser (i.e., creator of Choice Theory/Reality Therapy). Chapman borrows Glasser’s concepts when he states every person has a need for love, freedom, significance, and peace with God (wait, what happened to power, fun, and survival?).

After a few introductory chapters, the book employs a by-topic format, each chapter coaching the reader on how to apply the six “reality living” rules to marriage with a difficult spouse. The chapters are labeled:

·         The Irresponsible Spouse

·         The Workaholic Spouse

·         The Controlling Spouse

·         The Uncommunicative Spouse

·         The Verbally Abusive Spouse

·         The Physically Abusive Spouse

·         The Sexually Abused/Abusive Spouse

·         The Unfaithful Spouse

·         The Alcoholic/Drug-abusing Spouse

·         The Depressed Spouse

My feeling is mixed about the by-topic format type. On one hand, there’s something for everyone; but on the other hand, at some point everyone gets left out in the cold. What I mean is, I would find it hard to recommend this book to a client without the caveat, “It’s a useful  book, but a lot of these chapters won’t apply to you.”

Bottom Line

Bottom line, if you’ve been looking information on the topic of troubled marriages, give Chapman’s new book a read. It’s a good reference, and the idea of “reality living” provides a significant philosophical foundation. And stay tuned, with any luck Desperate Marriages of Children should be out by fall. 

Social Bookmark

http://www.thriveboston.com/AATBS_NCMHCE_Review.html

Social Bookmark

Despite living in the most affluent times in the history of the world, people are still unhappy. Why?

Dr. Arch Hart proposes that ordinary people are experiencing anhedonia – that is, a diminished capacity or complete inability to feel pleasure. A client from Dr. Hart’s book demonstrates the anhedonia diagnosis:

“My food seems tasteless. A beautiful woman no longer attracts me. Music no longer pleases me. I don’t care if I ever go to a movie again. My friends seem dull. I look forward to nothing. I don’t want to die, but I don’t care about living. I don’t get a kick out of anything, except perhaps making some big deal come to reality.”[i]

According to Hart, it is pleasure that has burned out our ability to experience pleasure. Ironic, yes—but not impossible. Hart explains that, neurologically-speaking, one’s brain can become over-stimulated by continual gratification. He suggests that we have built up a tolerance to enjoyment, the same way a junkie builds up a tolerance to drugs. Because of the tolerance, our brains need bigger and bigger amounts of gratification to get a fix—for many of us only outrageous, exciting, intense experiences of pleasure register, while “simple pleasures” count as nothing.

While the theories in this book seem plausible, there may be other explanations for why so many people seem unhappy. Perhaps it is because we are socially disconnected, focused more on money or material things than on friendships, are experiencing an epidemic of family crises, are workaholics who don’t let ourselves enjoy life, or some other reason not accounted for.

Still, Hart is confident in his analysis, and sees our current situation as dire — “we are probably the unhappiest people that ever lived. To some extent, all of us are now suffering from some degree of anhedonia.” [ii]

Are we really addicted to thrills? Have we built a tolerance to enjoyment? Decide for yourself. If you feel your food has lost its flavor, or if you think you might be a pleasure junkie, give Hart’s book a read. It is a substantial piece of work, focused heavily on strategies for improving your life. Even if you don’t identify yourself as a sufferer of anhedonia, you will at least find good advice from someone with a lifetime of experience and possibly learn to stop and smell the roses.

Social Bookmark