Hi there: Have you ever done something where you didn’t feel it was your best effort? Maybe it was something for work? Or school? Or even at home? And you felt you could have done better? Perhaps it was because you were busy. Or distracted while trying to multitask? Or some other reason altogether?

You just felt it wasn’t up to your usual standards. And you weren’t 100% of your efforts.

Well don’t sweat it. The fact you feel this way is a good thing. It means you do have standards and do care about doing your best every time.

And that’s what really matters with everything we do in life. It reminds me of a story told by my friend RB.

RB has a restaurant. Not just any restaurant but one of the best in Canada. And whenever they brought a new hire there was a test involved.

The new hire would be asked to chop a carrot. And after he was finished RB would inspect the expertly cut vegetable and think to himself ‘is this the one?’ And so he would ask the new hire a question to complete the test.

He would ask ‘is this the best carrot you’ve ever cut?’ And unfortunately for RB and the new hire the answer would always be no. And RB would say ‘how do you expect me to serve this to my customer then?’

The point of the story is that we aren’t perfect. And most of the time we are far from perfect.

But we can always bring passion to what we do. And we can always give our best effort. And we can always see the value in doing our best even in the smallest jobs such as chopping a carrot.

As you carry on with your fitness, health and performance goals keep this story in mind.

Sometimes you will feel tired. Sometimes the weather is too hot. Sometimes….we can always find reasons for sub par.

But if you give your best effort at everything you do you will be surprised at how this increases the results in the gym, at work and at home.

And if you should stop in to Raudz in Kelowna, ask RB ‘how are the carrots?’

Chris Collins
(learn more at okanaganpeakperformance.com ‘always moving forward’)

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1) Go with a friend

One easy way to overcome gym stress is to bring a workout partner. The moral support will help you to overcome any self-conscious thoughts you have and, as an added bonus, gym partners are great for keeping one accountable to working out on a regular basis.

2) Headphones

A simple pair of headphone can help you to block out the world, and the stress of going to the gym. Turn on your favorite tunes and the emotion you were feeling (self consciousness) will be replaced by the mood of your iTunes collection.

3) Go during off hours

Most gyms and fitness centers are busiest between 5pm and 8pm—the after work crowd. If you have flexibility in your schedule, hop into the gym in the morning, or midday. You might find that you’ll have the run of the place, and plenty of privacy!

4) Get on a plan

Your confidence will increase if you have an exercise plan and specific fitness goals. Think about what you plan to do before you get to the gym: what muscles are you going to focus on? What machines are you going to use? Also, perhaps a counselor with experience in physical fitness or nutrition could help you to develop a professional health / fitness plan.

5) Talk about the stress

You’re not alone in feeling stressed or self-conscious about going to the gym. Talk about these feelings with a friend, or perhaps schedule an appointment with a counseling professional with experience in helping people reduce their stress and improve self image. If counseling doesn’t seem like a good fit for you, many people have found Life Coaching to be helpful.

Thrive Counseling and Life Coaching offers services to individuals for a variety of life issues including stress, and also provides Couples Counseling and Marriage Therapy. For more information visit our Atlanta Therapy, or Miami Therapy websites.

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A few sound-bites/video-bites from that interview were used in the story that aired.

The video is now online; to watch just follow the link below.

Quotes from the story:

“The social stigma has never been lower and divorce is seemingly a real easy option,” said Dr. Anthony Centore of Thrive Boston Counseling. But, he added, “Some friends have seen friends and family get divorced and they outwardly say I don’t want it to happen to me.”

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/24260437/detail.html

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Here is a good article at wikihow about setting smart goals: http://www.wikihow.com/Set-SMART-Goals

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• You have the right to obtain the name and specialty of the doctor or other person responsible for your care.
• You have a right to confidentiality of all records and communications concerning your medical history and treatment to the extent provided by law.
• You have the right to participate in the development and implementation of your plan of care.
• You have a right to a prompt response to all reasonable requests.
• You have a right to request and receive details of any relationship between Thrive Counseling / your care provider to any other health care facility / educational institution, insofar as it relates to your care.
• You have a right to obtain a copy of any rules of Thrive Counseling that may apply to your conduct as a client.
• You have a right, upon request, to inspect your medical records, request an amendment to, or receive an accounting of disclosures regarding personal health information, and for a reasonable fee receive a copy of your record.
• You have a right to refuse to participate as a research subject.
• You have a right to personal dignity and, to the extent reasonably possible, to privacy during treatment and other care.
• You have the right to have your cultural, psychosocial, spiritual, and personal values, beliefs, and preferences respected.
• You have a right to informed consent to the extent provided by law.
• You have a right to request and receive an itemized explanation of your bill.
• You have the right to file a grievance with Thrive Counseling if you have concerns regarding your care and treatment. In addition, you have the right to file a grievance with the Massachusetts Department of Public Health, Division of Health Care Quality, 99 Chauncy Street, 2nd Floor, Boston, MA 02111.

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Cambridge based counseling practice is seeking an enthusiastic, positive and performance oriented individual to join our team!

Requirements:

Bachelor’s degree minimum
Excellent verbal communication
Excellent written communication (we will be issuing a writing test)
An above average aptitude with Internet / computer use
Must be energetic, with a positive attitude
Must have excellent problem solving abilities (we will be issuing a test)
Must be able to multitask
Must be very detail oriented
Must be self-starting
Must be able to learn new concepts and processes quickly
Must act, speak, and dress professionally

Highly Preferred:

Experience with medical billing
Experience with telephone sales or customer service
Prior experience working in medical office
Experience with writing articles and blogging

We are a growing company of 10 medical providers and several support staff, and we provide a challenging, welcoming, and rewarding place to work. A good candidate will be able to grow in responsibility and role as the company grows. We look forward to meeting you!

Visit our website at www.thriveboston.com
Friend us on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/thrivecounseling

*Required—Applicants must send a cover letter and a resume.
*Required—In order to be considered, your cover letter must begin this sentence exactly “Yes, I read the job post and I possess all the requirements for this position.”
email: anthony@thriveboston.com

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To schedule an appointment, or for more information: Call 404-682-1923, or email ThriveCounseling@gmail.com

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It takes some people a lifetime to realize there is no “arriving” in life. Only when our energy is focused on the PRESENT moment may we experience true arriving, and living (many of our Boston Life Coaching clients are, before they start life coaching, trying to get there through educational or career achievement).

Here are 5 tips for increasing your ability to be “present in the moment”:

Breath into the Moment

It seems so simple, yet when people start to pay attention to their breathing, they are often startled to find they are holding their breath throughout the day, or taking only shallow breaths rather than deep breaths. Think of a newborn baby, sleeping. If you watch a sleeping baby’s belly, their breath fills them up like a balloon, and when they exhale, that balloon deflates. This is how we are intended to breathe in order for our blood to carry the appropriate amount of oxygen throughout our bodies. Try this: place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. Now breathe, and notice which hand moves. For most, it is the hand on the chest. For the next 5-8 minutes, focus on breathing into your belly, moving that hand up and down. Notice any differences in your mind/body? You’ll probably notice that you’re feeling more relaxed, and are maybe more aware of the present moment. This is the practice of “breathing into the moment”.

Notice your Senses

We have five senses. How often are you aware of each of them? Whether you’re on the train, walking down the street, eating, or experiencing a seemingly mundane task – pay attention to what each of your senses are experiencing in the moment. What do you hear? Smell? See? Feel? Taste? Experiment with paying attention to what you are sensing around you in any given moment. When we take the time to note and explore our body’s experience in each moment we are living that moment to its fullest.

Tweak Your Routine

How easily we all seem to fall into the trap of just going through the motions of our day. Throughout your day, see if you can begin to notice how much of what you do is just habit or routine. It is very challenging to live in the moment when you are rushing through your day on autopilot. Try simple, seemingly small changes first. Change your route to the store or work, go to a different place to eat lunch, or a different grocery store, wear a color you don’t often wear, and sit in a different seat on the train or at work if you can. When we shake up our routines, no matter how subtly, we essentially force ourselves to be more present in the moment because what we are experiencing is in some way NEW.

Check Your Thoughts

Ask yourself periodically throughout the day, “How am I feeling in this moment?” Whatever the answer is, then ask yourself, “What am I thinking about?” Our thoughts lead to our feelings. Try it: Right now, do you feel happy, sad, irritated? What were you thinking about just now? It is impossible to feel these emotions without having a thought that led you to them. So, in your moment, check on your thoughts. Observe your thoughts as if they were little clouds all around you. Are you choosing the helpful/nourishing clouds, or spending time ruminating on some that are unhelpful? Examining your thought-life can be very telling and choosing better thoughts can be amazingly effective in changing what you are feeling in the moment.

Embrace Discomfort / Pain

To be human is to feel pain. This is an inescapable truth. When we feel suffering or pain after a loss or heartache, our automatic response is to try to make ourselves feel better. Of course there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways to do this, but in the quest of living in each moment, the secret to feeling better is often just embracing the pain, and even loving it because the ability to feel pain reminds us that we are alive. During a moment of discomfort, try letting yourself accept it and be ok with it. Knowing that, like waves on the beach, your present feeling will wash up and over you – and then wash away. No emotion is permanent whether it’s good or bad, so trust that the pain will pass.

Thrive Boston Counseling help people with a variety of life issues through life coaching and counseling therapy.
Brittany Hartman, MS is a life coach and counseling at Thrive Boston Counseling. For more information, join us on Facebook, or call us at 617-395-5806.

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David, a high school senior, feels that his schoolwork and football skills are never good enough. Every night of the week, he studies for hours and then goes over his football plays in the backyard until long after dark. Whenever Dave earns anything less than an A, he gets a pounding headache.

What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism involves a feeling that anything that is less than perfect is unacceptable.

Perfectionism is rooted in the need for approval and control.

Perfectionists are often extremely harsh on themselves, and can have the belief that they should accomplish more than they do, and at a higher quality.

Perfectionists are equate failure with a lack of personal value.

Perfectionists feel that they must be the best at everything they do, and that their worth is calculated by their performance. As a result, a perfectionist’s sense of personal worth fluctuates on a daily basis.

Overcoming Perfectionism

Learn a new motto / mantra.

There are two good mottoes / mantras for the recovering perfectionist; the first is, “Progress not perfection” and the second is, “Perfection is the enemy of good enough.” Alcoholics Anonymous uses the first motto fairly regularly, as it reiterates the truth that no one is perfect, and it serves to take some pressure off one’s self to be perfect. The second motto is a truism that I first learned from a surgeon friend of mine. I was surprised he thought this way, because surgery seemed to me to be a rare exception of something one would want to get absolutely perfect. However, apparently, even with something as complicated as surgery, it is is best policy to stop an operation when the job is done. My friend explained to me that surgeons who strive for “perfection” often end up making things worse for the patient.

Can you identify any damages that occur to you, your tasks, or your life, when you make perfection mandatory?

The best friend test.

Identify specific ways that you are hard on yourself, and list any particularly high standards you keep for yourself (for example: perhaps you work out compulsively, are harsh on yourself if you overeat, are angry when you can’t complete all the tasks on your list at work). Once you have identified these areas, ask yourself “Would I want my best friend to treat him/herself this way?” If your answer is no (and it probably is), you know you are being too hard on yourself.

How can you be a better friend to yourself?

Schedule non-work hours.

For perfectionists, workaholism is almost always a symptom (it can be argued that perfectionism and workaholism are sisters). Perfectionists will work an unhealthy amount in an attempt to accomplish more, faster, better. To counter this tendency in yourself, schedule plenty of R&R time into your schedule–literally write into your schedule “Priority Task” and have that “task” be something relaxing. Note: Some people argue that scheduling recreational time is “not spontaneous,” and therefore not fun. I disagree in principle, but if that is your opinion, consider this exercise a temporary “detox” from workaholism. Once you’ve gained control over your schedule, you can start to become more spontaneous.

When will you begin scheduling R&R time?

Thrive Boston Counseling offers professional therapy and life coaching services in Cambridge and Boston, MA. Also visit our Philadelphia Counsleing, Long Island Counseling, and Atlanta Counseling, Services. Call us at 617-395-5806.

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